WHO ARE THESE GUYS?
Mystery Blizzard are playing competitive hockey in spite of
October 6 1998
For the second time in three weeks, the Renegades overcame an
early first period deficit to defeat the Blizzard 6-3 in the opening
game of week 3 of the CASC regular season. The Renegades upped their
record to 3-0 and sit alone atop the CASC standings.
The Renegades came into the game tied with the Dragons for first
place overall, who were defeated 10-3 by the Heat, in somewhat of
an upset. The Heat, who were soundly trashed by the Renegades in
week 2, surprised the Dragons with an inspired performance, which
left the Dragons reeling and the rest of the league freaking.
How could the Heat be so bad one week and be so good the following
week. Call them the Jekyll and Hyde Heat. The inconsistent Heat are
also giving Las Vegas odds-makers and local bookies heart attacks;
they were 0.5 goal underdogs against the Dragons and handily won
by seven goals, but they got clobbered by nine goals the week before.
Following the Heat-Dragon game, a furious Kamlesh Patel called a
Saturday morning 5:00 am videotape session of their disastrous
performance, much to his teammates dislike. Patel, a astute believer
of boot camp training, held the meeting at his household and did
not serve his teammates coffee. “my speech will wake them up”
According to Patel “I’m a big Roger Neilson fan and I’m confident
that videotape reviews of our games will deliver a championship”
It seems that the Renegades do not enjoy 7:00pm games. They fell
down 3-0 to the Bluedogs in week 1 and followed it up by being down
2-0 to the Blizzard in week 3. Maybe they eat too much before game
time. To eradicate this problem, Mark Beaudry has been assigned as
the Renegades dietitian; he will closely monitor game day eating
habits and will introduce his “no alcohol - 72 hours before each
game” program. Chris Nadeau has stated that he is vehemently upset
over this situation and refuses to go cold turkey for 3 days and
he will walk out on the team if the "no alcohol" rule isn't lifted.
With all do respect to the Bluedogs, the Blizzard have been the
Renegades toughest opponent thus far. They put up an
admirable fight, and played 60 minutes of relentless hockey. But they
remain a rather mysterious team. Defenseman Bob Staric, forward
Anthony Ferreira and goaltender Leonard Luedu are the only household
names. Several of these mystery Blizzard had a strong game, including
the guy in the Leclair shirt and the defenseman in the orange and
white shirt. Sorry, but we don’t know these guys. Help wanted. Chris
Callihoo, a Dollard Ball Hockey superstar, has been another key
After the game, Paul Iacurto went on a wild goose chase to get
Callihoo’s post-game reaction. Iacurto ran into one of his teammates,
wearing an expensive suit. “Have you seen Chris Callihoo” asked
Iacurto. “Callihoo? Who’s that? I don’t know any of the names of my
teammates,except for one - see ya” the well dressed dude quickly
left the premises and pulled away in a 500 series BMW (this is
The Blizzard-Renegade game was played in relatively clean fashion,
but was marked by two accidental injuries which left the Gades
scrambling for a full squad for their next contest against the Four
Aces. During the game, Angelo D’Agostino suffered a groin injury and
did not return. Paul Iacurto was busted open by a high stick on the
forehead, and had to temporarily leave the game for repairs. In last
week’s game, substitute forward Philippe Gauvreau “died” midway
through the game and Joey Lazzara got hit hard in the stomach.
The Renegades were also playing minus Darryl Vineberg (bad back),
Peter Knapp and goaltender Billy Mark. The picture looks even
gloomier for their next game versus the Four Aces; goalie Jimmy
Garoufalis will be absent due to his commitment to the Four Aces.
Who’s going to strap on the pads? Nobody knows.
Due to this recent rash of nagging injuries and various bumps and
bruises, captain Peter Knapp has imposed a $20 surcharge for every
Renegade, in order to hire a full-time chiropractor.
In other news...
Disgruntled defenseman John Wong, who will be an unrestricted free
agent at the end of this season, has reportedly scoffed at the Four
Aces last contract offer. According to sources close to the team,
the Four Aces have offered Wong a 3 year 30 million dollar deal,
with an option year and a 2 million dollar signing bonus. Wong, a
two time CASC all-star, is quoted as being “insulted” by the Four
Aces last offer and has demanded an immediate trade. Wong wants
to be the highest paid player in the league. Mike Murphy is currently
the richest man in the league. Full player salaries per team will
be disclosed in next week's issue.
The latest rumors has Wong involved in a three way trade with
the Blizzard and the Bluedogs. The deal has Wong going to the
Bluedogs, who would then send Greg Phendler to the Blizzard. Bob
Staric would be the Four Aces newest acquisition. The deal is still
pending because the Four Aces are demanding that the Bluedogs throw
in a couple of mops in the deal. “Who else is going to slide all over
the defensive zone and clean up the front of the net after Wong is
gone” says Four Aces general manager Jack Lotti.