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Myers and Robert give Renegades a bad case of stomach flu
October 26 1998
It was 2 hours before game time. Kim Nethersole and Allan Ramdeen 
convened at the CASC SPORTS BAR AND GRILL for their customary 
pre-game meal. 
"This meal is on me Kim" slurred Ramdeen, as the waitress approached 
the table. "I'll do the ordering around here buddy".
Waitress: "Hi guys! Can I take your order?"
AR: "Sure thing chickita. Put it on one bill."
Waitress: "Are you guys having the usual Happy Bluedog meal? It 
comes with fries and a drink. Just choose your subs guys"
AR: "Kim will have the 14" Bluedog Metldown Super Sub. I think 
that's the one with two kinds of meat: bologna and mockery chicken. 
For condiments, throw in some derisive tomatoes, extra sour pickles, 
impertinent onions and pretentious ketchup". 
"I on the other hand will  have the Classic Bluedog Sub. Is that the 
one with the Oscar Myers luncheon meat in it?
Waitress: Yes and the meat was processed fresh today.
AR: "Good. Throw in an extra slice of Robert Barrel American 
processed cheese  and spread on lots of extra arrogant mustard. 
Don't forget to add some unduly mayonnaise, lots of scornful 
lettuce and a generous sprinkle of ostentatious spices".
Waitress: "Would you like fries with that?"
AR: "Yes, 2 orders of fries. I'm watching my weight, so make sure 
that they are cooked in 100% pure insolent oil."
Waitress: "With your Bluedog specials you can each have a sundae 
for 99 cents."
AR: "Cool. We'll have your new flavor. So make it two Heavenly Gall 
sundaes with a heaving taunting of whipped cream"
Waitress: "For an extra $1.49 you can have your sundaes served in a 
Showboat cup that you get to keep"
AR: "Sounds good".
Nethersole and Ramdeen wolfed down their subs like it was the best 
meal they had ever eaten and immediately headed off to their game. 
They entered Westmount High School through the illegal back 
entrance carrying Darren Robert's stick. As soon as they crossed the 
door, a worried Nethersole peeped at the empty hallway and said: 
"OK Al, this is the plan: if you see Boghen or Michael run for your 
AR: "Roger - Kim"
KN: "OK Al baby the coast is clear, hurry"
The game began a few minutes late after the Renegades interrupted 
the opening face off by rolling out a  red carpet, standing on a 
podium and saying in unison: "OK guys - let's start sucking"
The Bluedogs began the game short 3 players: Lino Digenova, Tony 
Ricci and Billy Ponting. Enter Keith Myers and Darren Robert as 
substitutes for the game. (I not sure if Myers is really a substitute
player, but for this article's sake he is). 
The game was never in doubt from the opening face off. The Bluedogs 
scored 2 quick goals courtesy of Darren Robert's illegal stick blade.
Even though his stick stuck out like a sore thumb, the Renegades 
appeal fell on deaf ears for the first period, which was all that 
the Bluedogs needed to win the game. "Read my new book (ref: previous
I files article) and you too can learn how to get away with scams
like that" said Fraser Baird. 
In between the first and second period, an exuberant Darren Robert 
rolled in a huge speaker, grabbed a microphone, took center stage 
and said: "I'm the man, I'm the icon, I'm the show stopper and I'm 
the one who makes the Bluedogs what they are today. Each and every 
Bluedog should warship the ground I walk on"
The second period began with the Bluedogs serving a bench minor for 
playing with an illegal stick blade. The penalty was assessed one 
period too late,  but Robert had already done the damage by scoring 
3 goals in the first. Keith Myers also had a strong game, scoring 4
 goals. Myers and Robert combined for 9 of the Bluedogs 11 goals. 
Regent Proulx had another strong performance, limiting the highest 
scoring team in the league to a season low 2 goals. Paul Iacurto, 
the league's leading scorer, was held to 1 point. After the game, 
Iacurto was asked to comment on his lousy performance: "My legs 
weren't there. I was simply mesmerized by Darren Robert's Captain 
America shorts. He makes a debonair  fashion statement" 
Other than Myers and Robert, the rest of the Bluedogs weren't much 
of a factor in the game,  unless  you take into account Allan 
"Pavarotti" Ramdeen's beautiful heart warming rendition of the 
"Na na na hey hey goodbye song". The spectators all broke down in 
tears."What a voice. So rich. He can come sing with my group any day"
said Ian Foster. "I don't remember seeing Myers and Robert in the 
Bluedogs team picture of last year, unless Myers was taking the 
picture and Robert was holding the camera" said Marc Beaudry.  
The Renegades took it on the chin but were gracious in defeat. 
The only Renegade who's still a little bitter is the author himself 
but his bad feelings are all but gone. It's only recreational ball 
hockey after all. This article was a much needed cure to ventilate 
his bitter feelings. Thank god for the I files.
The season series now stands at 1-1. Game 3 is in January.