BLUEDOGDS ADD TWO SUPER SUBS TO THEIR MENU
Myers and Robert give Renegades a bad case of stomach flu
October 26 1998
It was 2 hours before game time. Kim Nethersole and Allan Ramdeen
convened at the CASC SPORTS BAR AND GRILL for their customary
"This meal is on me Kim" slurred Ramdeen, as the waitress approached
the table. "I'll do the ordering around here buddy".
Waitress: "Hi guys! Can I take your order?"
AR: "Sure thing chickita. Put it on one bill."
Waitress: "Are you guys having the usual Happy Bluedog meal? It
comes with fries and a drink. Just choose your subs guys"
AR: "Kim will have the 14" Bluedog Metldown Super Sub. I think
that's the one with two kinds of meat: bologna and mockery chicken.
For condiments, throw in some derisive tomatoes, extra sour pickles,
impertinent onions and pretentious ketchup".
"I on the other hand will have the Classic Bluedog Sub. Is that the
one with the Oscar Myers luncheon meat in it?
Waitress: Yes and the meat was processed fresh today.
AR: "Good. Throw in an extra slice of Robert Barrel American
processed cheese and spread on lots of extra arrogant mustard.
Don't forget to add some unduly mayonnaise, lots of scornful
lettuce and a generous sprinkle of ostentatious spices".
Waitress: "Would you like fries with that?"
AR: "Yes, 2 orders of fries. I'm watching my weight, so make sure
that they are cooked in 100% pure insolent oil."
Waitress: "With your Bluedog specials you can each have a sundae
for 99 cents."
AR: "Cool. We'll have your new flavor. So make it two Heavenly Gall
sundaes with a heaving taunting of whipped cream"
Waitress: "For an extra $1.49 you can have your sundaes served in a
Showboat cup that you get to keep"
AR: "Sounds good".
Nethersole and Ramdeen wolfed down their subs like it was the best
meal they had ever eaten and immediately headed off to their game.
They entered Westmount High School through the illegal back
entrance carrying Darren Robert's stick. As soon as they crossed the
door, a worried Nethersole peeped at the empty hallway and said:
"OK Al, this is the plan: if you see Boghen or Michael run for your
AR: "Roger - Kim"
KN: "OK Al baby the coast is clear, hurry"
The game began a few minutes late after the Renegades interrupted
the opening face off by rolling out a red carpet, standing on a
podium and saying in unison: "OK guys - let's start sucking"
The Bluedogs began the game short 3 players: Lino Digenova, Tony
Ricci and Billy Ponting. Enter Keith Myers and Darren Robert as
substitutes for the game. (I not sure if Myers is really a substitute
player, but for this article's sake he is).
The game was never in doubt from the opening face off. The Bluedogs
scored 2 quick goals courtesy of Darren Robert's illegal stick blade.
Even though his stick stuck out like a sore thumb, the Renegades
appeal fell on deaf ears for the first period, which was all that
the Bluedogs needed to win the game. "Read my new book (ref: previous
I files article) and you too can learn how to get away with scams
like that" said Fraser Baird.
In between the first and second period, an exuberant Darren Robert
rolled in a huge speaker, grabbed a microphone, took center stage
and said: "I'm the man, I'm the icon, I'm the show stopper and I'm
the one who makes the Bluedogs what they are today. Each and every
Bluedog should warship the ground I walk on"
The second period began with the Bluedogs serving a bench minor for
playing with an illegal stick blade. The penalty was assessed one
period too late, but Robert had already done the damage by scoring
3 goals in the first. Keith Myers also had a strong game, scoring 4
goals. Myers and Robert combined for 9 of the Bluedogs 11 goals.
Regent Proulx had another strong performance, limiting the highest
scoring team in the league to a season low 2 goals. Paul Iacurto,
the league's leading scorer, was held to 1 point. After the game,
Iacurto was asked to comment on his lousy performance: "My legs
weren't there. I was simply mesmerized by Darren Robert's Captain
America shorts. He makes a debonair fashion statement"
Other than Myers and Robert, the rest of the Bluedogs weren't much
of a factor in the game, unless you take into account Allan
"Pavarotti" Ramdeen's beautiful heart warming rendition of the
"Na na na hey hey goodbye song". The spectators all broke down in
tears."What a voice. So rich. He can come sing with my group any day"
said Ian Foster. "I don't remember seeing Myers and Robert in the
Bluedogs team picture of last year, unless Myers was taking the
picture and Robert was holding the camera" said Marc Beaudry.
The Renegades took it on the chin but were gracious in defeat.
The only Renegade who's still a little bitter is the author himself
but his bad feelings are all but gone. It's only recreational ball
hockey after all. This article was a much needed cure to ventilate
his bitter feelings. Thank god for the I files.
The season series now stands at 1-1. Game 3 is in January.