EVIL, INC Issue #8
November 2nd, 1998
FURIOUS JOHN WONG
Three weeks ago, John Wong's early life was featured on the front
page of EVIL, Inc's Issue #3. John Wong, a Four Aces defenseman had
been gracious enough to relate his thoughts into an audiocassette
concerning his childhood, complete with observations that bordered
on the controversial, maniacal and just pure wierd. Despite being
labeled as brilliant literature by the critics, EVIL, Inc. lost the
ratings race that week to "The 'I'Files", just as it has every week.
The John Wong situation caused problems for EVIL, Inc. creator
Jimmy Garoufalis. It seems that Garoufalis guaranteed Wong main event
status for four editions of the Wong life story, all of which were
to be printed before the end of November. The timeline was agreed to
as part of the deal to get Wong's cooperation. Garoufalis went as far
as promising readers of his web articles that Part II of Wong's Early
Life would be printed the week following Part I.
A month has passed since the original story hit the presses and
readers are still waiting to hear more of Wong's 1st person
accounts of history in the making. Last week, on Friday, October
30th, Wong told his side of the story.
"I got screwed by EVIL, Inc. I got screwed by Jimmy Garoufalis.
I was promised four stories about my life before the middle of
November. I was promised that every article about my life story
would be front page, a main event. This hasn't happened. I have a
written contract with Jimmy Garoufalis that guarantees that four of
my tapes will be reprinted word for word on CASC web site, courtesy
of EVIL, Inc. Jimmy swore on his honor that everything promised to
me would come true. It hasn't. .All four tapes have to be printed by
the middle of November. So far only one has been transcribed. The
other three are in the can. They've been written. I know because I
talked into a cassette for god knows how long. I've filled out
the tapes. I sanitized them for public listening. So what's the
The holdup, my friends, is ratings. Jimmy lost the ratings race
the week my first story was published.. Hell, when has Jimmy ever
won? It wasn't my fault. My stuff was great. C'mon, did you read
it? Of course you didn't. So few people are reading Jimmy's articles
that Jimmy is looking for a scapegoat. Ergo, me.
Let's make one thing clear. I could have gone to Paul Iacurto,
"The 'I' Files" guy, to tell my story. He's got a huge fan base
that would have been perfect for me to capitalize on. I could have
told him about my meetings with Elvis and, well you'll just have to
wait for it to published now won't you. Paul promised me that he
would print my stuff but he couldn't guarantee that it would be the
lead article. That wasn't good enough for me, and since Jimmy is,
no, was, a friend, I accepted his offer instead. After all, I am a
front pager. A main eventer. A legend.
Why I am I saying these things? Because I don't want anyone else
falling for Jimmy's tricks ever again. Jimmy only cares about
ratings. Jimmy uses people for ratings. And when he doesn't get what
he wants he discards these people. I'm one of the few people who
have read EVIL, Inc. since Day 1 and I can tell from its disjointed
narrative that Jimmy hasn't a clue how to hold an audience.
I am looking for a way to get back at Jimmy. I don't know what
I'll do. I may take Jimmy to court and force him to live up to his
contractual obligations. I may just have to kill him. I'll figure it
out sooner or later.