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Evil Inc.
by Jimmy Garoufalis
March 31 2000
"That won't do," Joyce Turner was saying. "Double J is too simple a name. 
There has to be a better name out there."
"But what? No matter how hard we try it doesn't seem to help," Nathalie Cohen 
said. "Maybe we should just give up."
"No. That is not an option." Joyce was focusing.
"It isn't?" Nathalie asked.
"No. Before this night is over, we will find a new nickname for Jennifer Jones 
Patulli. I promise, no, I guarantee it." Joyce Turner was focusing.
In the opening match of the evening, Black defeated Backdraft 2-0 in a 
semifinal preview. The game, in itself irrelevant to the final standings, 
featured players from both sides playing new
"I've got it," said Daphne Nadler. "Jen-X."
"Jen-X? What does that mean?" asked Joyce.
"You know, it's not Generation X, it's Jen-X," Daphne said proudly. 
"Hmmm…I guess that's okay. But we can do better I'm sure. Can't we?" Joyce was 
"Give us some clues Joyce," asked Catherine Doyle. "I mean, Jennifer bugs the 
other team when she's out there. What can we do with that?"
"I don't know. But work harder. Time is running out." Joyce Turner was 
Christina Nakos, although not figuring in the scoring, still led the CASC 
Women's Division in assists with 18, edging out Maverick Cynthia Desanctis, 
who had 17. Nellie Principal scored her 14th goal in 14 games, joining 5 
others in the prestigious one goal per game club. (Contreras, Patulli, Platon, 
Blouin and Desanctis)
"Jenny In A Bottle is the perfect nickname," said Sheila Turner. "It's perfect.
I am truly impressed with myself now. Even more so than usual."
"That is damn good sis. Jenny In A Bottle," Joyce said. "How on earth did you 
come up with that?"
"Well, there was a game where we really needed a goal, I mean really needed a 
goal. Jennifer was on the bench and she decided to take matters into her own 
hands." Sheila stopped for breath.
"And," Joyce prodded.
"So Jennifer stood up and said 'Don't worry, I'm a Jenny in a bottle. I can 
make your wish come true. I'm gonna leave a good impression. You're gonna like 
what I do'. And she scored."
"Wow, that is an amazing story. Is it true?" asked Joyce.
"Well……," Sheila hesitated.
"Well, what?" Joyce asked again.
"It's not exactly true, but it could be true."
"Meaning what."
"Uhh…it doesn't ….you know…Jenny in a bottle makes for… you know….a good 
story. So it doesn't have to be…you know…..true. Does it?"
"Sheila, we can't go around fabricating quotes and stories. That would be 
wrong. Who would dare do a thing like that?". Joyce was focusing.
"But Joyce, it isn't as easy as it sounds," said Geraldine Mickie. "Other than 
the fact that she has 2 J's in her name and she bugs opponents, we have little 
to work with."
"We have the Jenny in a bottle thing….,"Sheila started.
"Which isn't true," Joyce finished.
"Oh yeah, I forgot." Sheila was finished.
Joyce was focusing.
Vangie Platon's 2nd period goal accomplished 2 things. First, the goal was her 
24th of the season, which broke a tie with Jennifer Jones Patulli of Backdraft,
who went scoreless and thus finished 3rd in the goal scoring standings with 23.
Second, the goal moved Vangie out of a 3 way tie for 2nd in the point scoring 
race. With her 35th point, Vangie overtook the Maverick duo of Celyne Blouin 
and Cynthia Desanctis and thus finish 2nd in points as well.
"You don't like 'Blue Jen' either. What more do you want? Time is running out,"
said Maureen Forrester.
"Why don't we just give up?" asked Catherine Doyle. "It seems like the sensible
thing to do."
"Give up. Give up. No. That is not gonna happen. Never." Joyce was intent. "I 
guaranteed a nickname. I will deliver. I always do."
"Joyce, this isn't the 90's, this is the year 2000," said Sheila.
"What does that mean?" asked Joyce.
"I don’t know. I'm still upset at the Jenny in a bottle thing."
"It wasn't a true story Sheila. Don't you remember?"
"The year 2000," Michele Laforest interjected. "Jennifer bugs our opponents. 
They'll find an antidote to stop her."
"Michele, we're trying to find a nickname for Jennifer," Joyce said. "Work 
with us or don't work for us. We have a deadline. Time is running out."
Because neither the standings, nor the playoff pairings could be affected, 
this game was more freewheeling than the playoff rematch next Thursday promises 
to be. All out offense was the ordre du jour.
For Black, Arianthi Kourakis played forward instead of defense. Ditto for 
Maureen Forrester of Backdraft. Backdraft's Nathalie Cohen switched to defense 
It is expected that these 3 players will be returning to their natural 
positions for the playoffs. 
"I'm just thinking that Jennifer has 2 J's in her name," Michele started 
"Go on." Joyce said.
"And she bugs opponents with her high skill level," Michele continued.
"That was my theory," Catherine Doyle said matter-of-factly.
"This better be leading somewhere," Joyce said. 
"And there is a search for an antidote to control her scoring." Michele stopped
for breath. "My theory there."
"We're running out of time. Get to the point. And quick." Joyce said. Joyce 
was focusing.
"And it's the year 2000," Michele stated quickly.
"That was my contribution," Sheila said proudly.
"If I follow this correctly," Maureen Forrester interrupted, "we are farther 
away from a nickname now than we were when we first started." 
"Look, how can we put all those four elements together and come up with a 
nickname for Jennifer?" Michele asked.
"I don't know how. But we will have to add them up. Now let me concentrate." 
Joyce was focusing.
"Go ahead," said Maureen.
"This is our last segment. If we can't come up with a name now, we will have 
to settle for, heaven forbid, 'Jenny in a bottle'.
And no one likes that," Joyce said.
"I like it," Sheila said.
"Joyce, allow me to interject, but when I think of bugging, I think of the Y2K 
scare," Nathalie Cohen said. 
"They found the antidote for that," Catherine said. 
"I'm listening." Joyce said intently.
"Her name has 2 J's in it," Sheila said proudly.
"Sheila please don't," Joyce insisted.
"And they have not found an antidote for Jennifer's scoring," Nathalie 
"And it's the year 2000," Sheila said. "Why don't we call her Y2J?"
"No, that's not it," Nathalie replied.
"Sheila, please….," Joyce started.
"No, let Sheila continue," said Maureen Forrester. "This might be interesting 
for a change."
"Y2J. No antidote, bugs people, 2 J's in her name, the year 2000," Sheila said.
"I hate to admit this Joyce….," Michele started.
"Then don't," Joyce finished.
"But Sheila may actually have hit on the….," Michele kept going.
"I told you not to….," Joyce insisted.
"Right nickname," Michele stated.
"I did. It was all me." Sheila said proudly.
"Joyce was focusing. "Y2J. Y2J. It actually….," Joyce Turner started.
"Fits nicely," Sheila finished. 
Joyce was focusing