4 October 1998 - Westmount: It finally happened. After months of 
negotiations CASC was finally able to add a Wymin's division. "I wanted 
the organizer of the league to assure me that smarties would be available
 after the games and that red smarties would not be mixed with the other 
colors", said Deserie Duncan, "and he promised that he would make it so".
"It was a question of money" added Arianthi Kourakis "I agreed to play 
until my first cheque, then we'll see".
 
At one point during the difficult 
negotiations, the School Board waived their rental fee for the first game, 
hoping that the lower expenses would allow for more money for salaries. 
"My time is valued at $150 an hour, playing for less would skew my rate 
and could have an adverse effect on my future earnings. I am not a 
slave!" stated Suzanne Solomon.The stoic Demitria Vlouhos, on the 
other hand, never participated in the main negotiations, leaving the 
dirty dealings to her agent. Her first rep lasted 3 days. He was fired 
after he suggested to Demitra that she should compromise. The second 
agent was fired after he could not secure scoring-title incentives. 
Finally, the third agent was able to conclude a contract which is 
rumoured to be the most lucrative in the league."I just want to play 
some good old time Hockey" admitted Natalie Cohen who is rumoured to be 
the illegimate daughter of Doug Harvey and was playing for the first time.
 
So how did the inaugural game go? The players were divided into WHITE or 
BLACK teams.Penny Michael (abreast-feeding mother) scored two unassisted 
goals for the BLACK team. Is she a "mangeur de pucks"?. "No way," said 
the fleet footed lady player, "it's just that nobody could keep up with 
me". But the day did not end there for the feisty forward (who 
incidentlly broke her lucky 22 year-old stick during the game), she was 
later hospitalized apparently, for running faster than her body.Vangie 
"College" Platon also scored two for the BLACK team, however, only one 
was unassisted. The other was a pretty three-way passing play initiated 
by Varlerie Frost and assisted by her sister-in-law Joyce Turner.
 
During the first intermission Joyce was approached for comment: "Vangie 
has a knack of getting out in the open" quipped Joyce while breastfeeding 
little Colin. "If I cotinue to get her the ball I will get lots of 
assists this season". Hmmm, playing-making incentives in her contract? 
I wonder...Vangie, on the other hand, had lots to say unfortunately this 
reporter was unable to understand anything as she spoke in 35 different 
languages.Valerie Frost was setting up every player on her team with 
precise passing that has not been seen in any level of hockey since 
Gretzky was in his twenties. 
 
The WHITE's became so annoyed by Valerie's ability to control the game 
that Sheila Turner (Joyce's sister and an experienced Rugby player) was 
sent out to convince Val that her ways should be changed. Consequently, 
Auntie Sheila was issued a penalty for boarding. Auntie Val was heard 
saying, as she peeled herself off the monkey bars, "I think she's jealous 
because Joyce's kids like me better"On the WHITE team, Carine Contreras 
was setting up her fair share of players including, mostly, Rachel Hawes. 
"I was surprised to see the ball on my stick" said Rachel "I had heard 
Carine was a hog". "In any case I cannot be expected to score with these 
substandard passes" complained Rachel. "If Carine wants me to score she 
has to put the right velocity and spin on the ball".Carine, on the other 
hand, kept playing her above-average game and her efforts were rewarded 
when she converted a Deserie Duncan pass into the first WHITE team goal.
Sheila (when she was not shadowing Valerie) scored the second goal from 
Suzanne as Suzanne was pulling a Chris -Chelios stick -side change. This 
rounded out the scoring for the WHITE side.
 
So who was in nets? For the losing side a non-descript male who wore to 
much padding helped "man" the goal. The winning side had Jennifer 
Jones-Patulli who refused to wear mask saying that, like Natalie, she 
wanted to play real old time hockey. "Masks were invented by wimpy men to 
protect their own facial features. Anyhow, a shot to the head is not as 
bad as it sounds".When approached for comment, Theo Michael replied in a 
stressed tone, "I've got no time now. The game is almost over and I still 
have red smarties to seperate".Beverly (former team captain the women's 
Canadian national field hockey team) was timekeeper and secretly scouting 
the game (Oops!).